Not my will, but your's be done.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

It's a marathon, not a sprint

Afternoon visit: Parker
Our visitation "scheduled", unless it is interrupted for paperwork or some unforeseen reason, is:  Daniel and Josslyn in the morning(either 9-11 or 9:30-11:30) and Parker in the afternoon(4-6). 

This afternoon with Parker went well.  I was a tad bit nervous how things were going to go with him, since we had ended on a negative note yesterday.  I didn't know if he was going to see me and run screaming in the other direction, or what.  He didn't though.  When he saw me he broke into a HUGE smile and ran up to me and hugged me.  It was a big tight hug.  I was so relieved that we hadn't lost all the progress we had made with him.  The nannies/teachers do tell him to hug us when he see us and when he says goodbye to us.  I don't think he necessarily would have done it on his own.  But I KNOW the smile was genuine, and the fact that he gave me a big tight hug tells me that it was at least half way genuine.

He started playing with toys.  He is beginning to interact with us more, slowly but surely.  He will be playing with a toy and look up and say something to us.  He smiles alot and he is making alot more eye contact.  He never initiates physical touch, but he doesn't freak out if we touch him either.  He sends mixed signals about us touching him.  If Josh tickles him or picks him up and gently tosses him, Parker makes his body very rigided, like he doesn't want to be touched, yet he has a huge smile and dies laughing.  I think he likes it, but doesn't know how to receive it.  It is going to take some time for him to figure out how to receive our love.

I am still beyond impressed with how he is with Kellen.  There isn't alot of interaction between the two of them, but when there is I am so proud of Parker.  Every once in a while he will bend over and say something to Kellen.  He doesn't get upset or snatch if Kellen picks up a toy that he was recently playing with.  Today, Parker was playing with the infamous toy computer and Kellen came up.  Kellen put his hands over the buttons.  For a minute Parker just let him.  When Kellen made it obvious that he wasn't going to leave it alone, Parker gently moved his hand.  Kellen was relentless and I was thouroghly impressed with how Parker handled him.

When the nanny brought Parker to us at the beginning of the visit, he had a sweater tied around his neck, preppy style(they dress the kids up for visitation).  As soon as the nanny was gone, Parker too the itchy sweater off.  When it was time for us to go, I tried to tie the sweater back on him.  He kept pulling it off until he saw me get my jacket on and Josh gathering our bags together.  He grabbed the sweater and started trying to tie it around his neck, but he couldn't, so I tied it on for him.  I thought that he realized that he was going back to his group and was happy about it.  I tried to give me a hug, but he didn't want to hug me.  Josh knelt down and held out his arms and asked, "Papa?"  Much to my surprise, Parker gave him a huge hug!! Yes! Head way!  I learned my lesson, I need to quit pushing it and let him do it on his own terms. 

At this point, I fully thought that Parker understood that our visit was over and we were leaving.  A nanny came into the room and she started to pick up Parker.  He started crying.  I'm not 100% positive, but I think he was crying because he wanted to go with us!!  The nanny seemed like she was telling him that we were coming back tomorrow.  That calmed him down.  I felt so bad for him(because I think he thought he was going with us, for some reason), but at the same time I think it was major progress that he even wanted to be with us.

Kellen asleep during our afternoon visitation with Parker yesterday.

Brothers sharing pretzles

The billboard that Josslyn is on!!

It says, "This girl needs a family"

Kellen relaxing with Daddy on the way back to the apartment after our afternoon visit.
He has been such a trooper!!

What I cooked for dinner.

I had a very rough day yesterday.  I was exhausted and very homesick for Luke and Ray.
Today was a much better day.  After a good nights sleep, cooking a real meal, and lots of cuddles from Kellen, I am doing much better today.

I don't know what I would do without him here!  When I start missing Luke and Ray, I just cuddle and kiss Kellen and it helps me feel better.  Having him with us has been such a blessing.  Yes, it has been tough at times, but I wouldn't change it for a second. 

We are hoping to have our paperwork submitted to the courts tomorrow.  Pray that we get a speedy court date with the judge who is experienced with international adoption.


Becky said...

I can almost hear your exhaustion as you write. I cannot even imagine the emotional toll of going through the process, let alone the simple physical one. Lifting you up and thanking Daddy for giving you that little snugglebug to be with you right now. It *is* a marathon. Remember, it's okay to walk some of's okay to take a water break and hit the med tent if you need to...And there are even teammates willing to help carry you to the finish line if necessary. Hang in there. Love you!

Micah said...

Oh... I echo what Becky wrote. She has such a beautiful gift. There ARE those of us who willing to carry you across the finish line. My heart really does want to hop on a plane and just come hug you and be with you thru this process but I know that isn't possible and that the Holy Spirit is there with ya'll. He's more than enough... but I still wanna come hug you and make it all alright.

LOL probably way more than I needed to type in a comment. Maybe I should stick to facebook messages. lol

Mom said...

We are praying, praying, praying, along with our other church friends. We are also very proud of both of you. These children are precious beyond words, and we can't wait to meet them. Our friends are in awe of your commitment and how God has opened all of the doors. We love you.

Samantha said...

Hi Jessica,
I'm a new follower of yours. One of your friends told me about you. I am enjoying keeping up with your blog. You have a beautiful family and your new little additions are just as beautiful. I hope everything works out smoothly and that you and those precious children will be home in the states soon.

Sarah said...

How is Luke doing, healthwise? He was sick the day after you left, right? Hope all is healthy on the homefront!

Prayers for your strength.