Not my will, but your's be done.

Monday, May 19, 2008

He Shows Himself Active

"Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him."
-Isaiah 64:4

God has continued to show himself active, not only in my life and situation, but also in the lives of those around me. Last Wednesday, not long after my last post my friend, Heather, called me. She had been crying. This is one of the many things I love about Heather. Not that she cries, but that she is so tender hearted. She is truly one of the sweetest and tender hearted people I know. She told me that she had just read my "4:00 am" post where I told about my early morning experience with the Lord and Krystal waking up early also and praying. She was crying because the morning before she too had an early morning prayer time. She uncaracteristically woke up in the early morning hours and couldn't go back to sleep. So she decided to get up...and pray. The first thing felt lead to pray for was for Tres. Her prayer time evolved into an awesome quiet time with the Lord, and continued into an awesome day.

My heart swelled. The Lord was once again showing Himself active. We talked about how amazing the Lord is and how easy it is to miss His hand in your life if you aren't looking for it or allowing Him to show himself.

This afternoon I was praying while I was at Luke's baseball game. Luke was in the dugout and he was thirsty. I had forgotten the bottled water in the car and was walking to get it for him. Enjoying the 60 seconds of quiet I began talking to the Lord as I walked. I found the words spilling out and I told the Lord that I was so thankful for the problems that we are facing with Tres. As I continued to tell Him why I was so thankful I almost stopped dead in my tracks. The reality of what I had just said hit me. I had just told the Lord that I was honestly thankful that He had allowed my unborn child to have a fatal birth defect. I couldn't believe my own ears. What was even more shocking was that I actually meant it! Throughout this entire ordeal there have been many things that I have been thankful for. The list has been almost unending. But not once have I felt thankful that God allowed this situation in the first place. That is why I was so shocked that my honest feelings about God allowing this to happen was thankfulness.

I am thankful because through this I have learning what it means to walk by faith daily. I have experience extreme peace about Tres' condition and the outcome regarding it. That peace has spilled over in to other aspects of my life where I did not previously have peace. It has caused me to trust the Lord and His plan for my life wholeheartedly. It has shown me what it is like to be carried by the prayers of others. It has opened my eyes to how many people I have in my life that truly care for me. And it has given me a greater respect for those that pray for others and carry the burdens of their brothers and sisters in Christ.

All of these things, any many more, are why I can honestly tell the Lord that I am thankful that He has allowed this valley in my life. I am walking through the valley. But I am not afraid. Not only am I not afraid, but this valley has turned in to more of a mountain top experience than a valley. We still do not know the final outcome. But I do know that God is at work and He isn't finished yet.


MamaJ said...

Isn't it amazing how close we feel to Him in the valley? It's all because He is so close to us, carrying us through it. Somehow, God used having Elijah and then losing him to make me a better Mommy, and a better person. I am so glad His ways are higher than ours! Love you!!

Heather said...

Geez! I am going to remember to keep kleenex handy when I read your blog...every time!

Your experience is exciting...being truly thankful in circumstances such as these makes the verses James 1:2-7 and Matthew 5:3-5 really come to life! It makes them easier to understand in my feeble little mind, anyways.

James 1:2-7
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

Matthew 5:3-5
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.

Praise God...HE is ALWAYS faithful!!! We truly are blessed to know Him!