Today marks 3 years since Treyson was born. Part of me wanted to do a huge birthday post, where I finally tell his birth story. But, while time may help heal wounds, there are some wounds that go so deep, that even time can't totally mend them. I am sure that I will tell about all the emotions of the day he was born at some point, but today is not that day. In all honesty, it will probably be some random day when I feel like allowing myself to be strong enough(or weak enough) to fully go back to that place. For now I will say that his third birthday is finally starting to feel like 3 years. On his first birthday, I was still just surviving. Ray ended up being very sick with rotovirus at that time and ended up being hospitalized. It was sorta a blessing in disguise, to distract me from the pain of what should have been my baby's first birthday. Treyson's 2nd birthday was much harder. He should have been 2. All moms know what it is like to have a 2 year old. It is a very fun and frustrating time, all wrapped up into one. Two years olds are so darn cute, so that makes up for the difficult stage they all go through at that time. I felt the pain of not being able to have the 2 year old that I should have. Kellen was about 4 months old, so I felt that missing gap between Ray and Kellen.
His third birthday is different. It's still hard, I won't lie about that, but I finally feel like some time has passed. I am also starting to see more and more the GOOD that has come from Treyson's short life on this earth. Josh and I have discussed several times, that if it wasn't for Treyson we would have probably never have adopted. Treyson changed our lives so drastically that adoption would have never been on our radar before that. Treyson was the game changer. Treyson brought us to our knees in complete surrender. Treyson's one hour life on this earth has served a bigger purpose than some people accomplish in 75 years.
Happy birhthday, Treyson. I love you, my sweet brown-haired baby. Your presence is still missed. And mourned. But I can see that God had an amazing plan for your life. While we still wish you were here, our family has joyfully welcomed 4 additions that it probably wouldn't have otherwise(Kellen, Alik, Danil, and Josslyn). God is good.
Happy birthday, sweet love.