Not my will, but your's be done.



Friday, November 7, 2008

Apology

When I was laying in bed praying last night I became convicted about something. I feel that I may have been a little harsh in my last post with a few of the things that I said. That was not at all my intention. I truly want everything I do in life to be done in love. While the scripture confirms that there are times to rebuke and correct, that also needs to be done in love. The whole, "shame on you" comment probably wasn't the most loving way I could try to move some of you to action and I am truly sorry for that. Abortion is just a very emotional topic to me. I am so angered by the injustice being done that I sometimes let my emotions take over. I get so angry that I see red. Then I start spouting off at the mouth and I don't think about how my words could have effected others until later. I realize this about myself and I with God's help I am working on it. I do believe that there is a time for righteous anger. And if there were ever an issue of be righteously angry about abortion would be it. But even when anger is righteous berating others is never right. Once again, I am sorry. I hope that none of you were turned off to praying for and helping out with this ministry in the future.

Love you all,

Jessica


Oh, on a side note there is something else that I have been wanting to mention. I am angry that abortion is legal, especially partial birth abortion. I am angry at the doctors that spend years studying how intricate and amazing the human body is, take the the Hippocratic oath, and then are able to end the life of thousands of innocent babies.(I heard recently of a doctor that has performed over 10,000 abortions.) This is what I am angry about, not necessarily angry at the mothers who are having the abortions. For a long time I was. It wasn't until I read a book called "I'll Hold You in Heaven" that I changed my perspective. A good friend gave me this book after I lost Treyson. It is a scriptural reassurance to those who have lost a child that there child is in heaven and that if they are a follower of Christ then they will be reunited with their child in heaven.(If you are unsure what that means or are unsure if you are, then I would love it if you would email me at
josh-jesscarlin@hotmail.com and we could correspond.)

Anyway, while reading this book the author, Jack Hayford, really opened my eyes to the fact that I should be more merciful and less judgemental towards those who have chosen to have an abortion. There are many reasons why a woman would chose to do that. No matter the reason, it doesn't make it any less wrong. But still, unless you have walked in that person's shoes you have no idea what they may be thinking and feeling. And what it truly boils down to is this; all sins are equal in God's eyes. He has the grace to cover every one to the fullest. If God has forgiven my many many sins, then I not only can forgive and show mercy, but I am required to.

That is why my heart goes out to these women. I want to minister to them in any way that they need. And through love, show them that they have other options that they might not have known exisisted or could be available to them. Continue to pray as we follow where God is leading us.

2 comments:

Susan @ fivemangoes said...

Hi Jessica. I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you and I think that God will do great things through you! :) I admire your boldness to speak out and your ability to show mercy and to apologize when you feel the need. I will be in prayer for you and your ministry!
Blessings,
Susan

God's Girl said...

May the Lord bless all that He leads you to do! I can tell that He will use you in great ways!

It was nice stopping by to 'meet' you.

All for Jesus,
Julie