Our Big News

We're expecting!

It's almost midnight. I've been lying in bed for an hour now and should have been asleep a long time ago. Today was a great day, so I am surprised that tonight as I lay in bed my mind wandered to the "what if" area. That is a forbidden area that I try to not visit very frequently No good ever seems to come of it. It always ends the same; a box of tissues and me asking the same questions that God has already been so gracious to answer for me, even though He wasn't required to. As soon as I see myself heading in that direction I always try to change the course. But tonight my mind wandered there slowly, decieving my heart in the process, and before I knew it I was lying there missing Treyson more than I have in months. I am at peace with all aspects of Treyson's story, and the majority of the time I see his life as a special and unique gift from God, and inspite of the outcome, he was a blessing that I was so unworthy to have received.

But tonight I feel greedy. I know, that given the opportunity, Treyson wouldn't change the outcome of his life. He is perfect and living in perfection with Jesus at this very moment. He wouldn't come back here, even if he could. But tonight I want to change things. I want him back. I want to hold him. I want him here. Now.

He would be 13 months old right now if he were still alive. Just starting to walk and talk and discover the world in a whole new way. I feel cheated that I'm not getting to experience this. I'm not getting to watch him learn and grow. I'm not getting to love him here on earth like I feel like I should. I know that God doesn't make mistakes, and I in no way do I think that He is to blame. I just really really miss my baby. I would give anything to be able to hold him again, even for just a minute, and tonight it is breaking my heart that I can't.

...and a picture to go with it

I'm posting this as a kind of add-on post to go with the previous one. It's a picture of my mom (with Luke and Ray), for those of you who don't know her. Now when I say "my mom", you know who I'm talking about.

Oh, and yes, the kids did both dress as pirates for Halloween 2007. Cute, right? This may have been my one and only year to have them dress coordinating. I had to take advantage of it before Ray could voice her opinions! haha!

Good News!

For those of you who don't know, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in May of 2007. After surgery and natural treatment, she was deemed cancer free about a year ago. This past month she under went genetic testing to find out if her cancer was genetic. She received the results of her tests yesterday and her cancer was found to not have a genetic link! That is great news for my sister and I, and our daughters! While my sister and I will have to start having mamograms at an earlier age than most, just because of the fact that my mom had breast cancer before the age of 50, we won't have to start super-early(like, this year, for me), or have them as often as we would have had to if her cancer had been genetic. For those of you who know both my mom and I, I thought that you might be interested in this bit of information.

Vaca in Pictures(and a few words)

This past week(the week leading up to 4th of July) we went on vacation to Galveston for the week. We had an excellent time! I'm really too busy and tired to blog about the whole thing, so I'm going to just post some of our pictures from the week so you can see what we did.

Day 1:My sister's house

This consisted of us driving to Houston and spending the night with my sister and her family. On the way we stopped at San Jacinto Mall. The kids and Josh rode the carousel and played around a bit.

That night we went to church at my sister's church, Houston's First Baptist Church. I LOVE her church(it also happens to be Beth Moore's church!!)

Day 2

Houston Zoo

Ray and my nephew, Jacob looking at the fish.

The aquarium part is Raylen's favorite

My nephews, (Nathan and Jacob) with Luke and Ray

(yes Ray is pickin her nose).

We kids had a great time at the zoo, it was just hot. Like REAAALLY hot. That afternoon when we left the zoo we drove to our resort in Galveston.


Day 3 :BEACH!!

Our resort was right ON the beach. It was down at the south end of Galveston after the seawall ends. Very nice and secluded. All we had to do was walk right down to the beach from our room.

Here's a pic of the kiddos in the elevator, heading down to the beach.

Ray and Daddy building a sand castle.

We caught 68 hermit crabs that day. I just had to take a picture because I thought I would never catch that many again.
That's what 68 hermit crabs of various sizes looks like.

After an awesome day at the beach we went to Rainforest Cafe that evening.

Luke just loves the Rainforest ride!

This was Ray's first time to ride the ride(besides in utero).

She wasn't sure what to think, but she never cried.

This picture is of her staring at the giant anoconda above us.

Day 4: Shilitterbaun

This is Luke doing the boogie boarding ride. He did great! I was so proud!

Day 5: Beach and pool

Ray with a crab

Me and Ray

You know how I said I took a picture of all those crabs because I thought I'd never find that many again? Well, we found 150 this day. Yup. ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY hermit crabs.

Here's the tiniest one.

And here is one of the bigger ones. Cute little things, eh?

The kids and Josh in the pool

Luke with a giant cookie from McAllistar's

That evening we played putt-putt at the local putt-putt place.

This is Ray hugging the fake chicken on the chicken coop hole.

Eating popsicles on the way down to the pool and to walk on the beach at night

Our resort at night(view from the beach)

Luke

Ray and Daddy

This kiddos on the last day when we were about to head home

We had a great time and would most definately go back. We got and EXCELLENT deal on our resort($80 a night, instead of the usual $182 dollars a night. The resort made a mistake online, but chose to honor the price we booked it at.). We were so blessed!

I'm going to try to post again soon updating you all on what has been going on around here, if I could just get a spare minute!

Giving the people what they want...

and by "people", I mean Rooney. I was getting on blogger tonight to post a picture of my tattoo, just for fun. When I noticed that my blog friend, Rooney asked what my tattoo was, I thought I'd use that as my excuse. Here it is, this one's for you, girl!

I also thought that while I was posting pictures, I'd throw in a few from when Ray was sick. This was pre-hospital when she was actually her sickest. Pitiful, isn't it?

The little black and white kitten is Twitchet. I guess she thought Ray needed the comfort of a cuddly little kitty.

Hospital Day 1

Doesn't that IV just break your heart?

Hospital Day 2

Ray is better now, much to my relief. This was our first my-kid-is-in-the-hospital experience. Josh and I have always known that at some point we will end up in the emergency room with Luke for a broken bone and/or stitches. We were shocked that little sis earned a stay in the hospital before her big bro. Still amazed at that one. She is all fine now though and back to normal. She cute as a button, but as mischevious as a wild kitten. I wouldn't have her any other way.

Oh, and I love my tattoo.

One down. 4 to go.

Just to let you know up front. This isn't going to be a post about Treyson and how it felt having his first birthday without him being here with us, or about Ray being in the hospital(as some of you know that she was). While I'm sure that I'll write about Treyson's birthday and all the emotions that went along with it, and I'll probably mention at some point that Ray had rotavirus and had to be hospitalized, this short post isn't going to be about any of that. I'm posting to tell you that I got a tattoo.


Yup. A tattoo.


I had it done about a week and a half ago. It was one of my life goals. (I can actually see my mom cringing at this very moment. Not because I got a tattoo, even though she wasn't thrilled when she learned about it, but at the fact that getting a tattoo was actually one of my life goals.) Not just any life goal, but in the top FIVE of my life goals. My number one life goal, that goes without mentioning because if you know me you know that this is a absolute given, is to whole-heartedly follow God's will for my life no matter where it leads or what He calls me to do. That goal is so far first in my life that it isn't even apart of the 5. I know that if following Christ is my number one goal in life, then I don't have to put things like, "being a good wife", or "being a good mom" as goals. Following Christ obviously calls me to do and be several things that are so basic to my Christian faith that they go without mentioning. My top 5 goals list is more of a personal thing. It is things that I personally would like to accomplish before I die. If Christ calls me to something otherwise that doesn't include my personal goals, then I am completely fine with. Each of my personal top 5 will be bathed in prayer before I attempt to acheive any of them....as was the tattoo.


I know, I know. You have probably never heard of someone praying about getting a tattoo...but I did. I prayed for over a year about getting a tattoo in general and I prayed for over a month about the exact tattoo that I got.(My mom probably has permanent cringe marks on her face after reading this.) Any way, back to praying about tattoos.


The tattoo I got gently expresses my pro-life view. It is something about myself that I know is permanent, so why not permanently express that on my body? Okay, okay. I know that I just opened myself up to a huge Biblical tattoo debate which I do not wish to engage in, so I think I'll just change the subject back to my original point with was my top 5 personal life goals, not whether or not you think tattoos are Biblical.


My other 4 life goals are:(in no particular order, because honestly there isn't a particular order)
1. Write a book
2. Adopt a child
3. Surf in Hawaii
4. Be a missionary to a foreign country


It makes no difference to me at what point in my life any of these goals are reached. In every step of each individual goal the Lord's direction will be sought, so the outcome really isn't left up to me. I CAN tell you that accomplishing two of these four remaining goals is already in the works. But I'm not going to tell you which two. I am still praying for God's guidance as I decipher His will from my own desires. I am pretty sure that in the next couple of months I will be sharing with you about one of these things and asking for prayer. But until then, I guess I will just have to leave you waiting and ask for prayer in general.

Love you all.