Not my will, but your's be done.

Friday, June 27, 2008


I guess it is time to break the silence. I have no idea what I am going to write. My thoughts are constantly clouded. People ask how I am doing, and I always say, "good". In many ways I do feel like I am doing good. I thought that if we ended up losing Tres that I would be unable to function. That I wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning, or care for the kids, or do anything but cry. But that has not been the case. Life is no where near the same, but it has continued on. I am grateful for the mundane daily tasks. Keeping busy is what has kept me from going crazy. I prefer to be busy alone though, if that makes any sense. I feel like I am in a fog. I have a difficult time collecting my thoughts in a logical manner, therefore my conversation skills have been lacking. If you are one of the people that I have had an odd conversation with I am sorry. It isn't that I don't want to talk, (most of the time anyway), it is that I have a difficult time putting my thoughts together in the first place, let alone verbalizing them.

I think about Treyson close to every waking moment, but it is hard for me to talk about him to anyone but Josh. It isn't that I don't want to talk about him to other people, but talking leads to crying the majority of the time and Josh is the only person I am comfortable crying in front of.

I'm going to go now. I've been still for too long. I'm sure that the story of his birth and passing will spill from me eventually.

Until then, thank you all for your prayers.

1 comment:

Sara said...

Oh honey. I know how much you hurt right now. It is still so fresh for you so that pain is unbearable. I am in the process of emailing you so we can "talk" more.
Take care of yourself, and just take things a minute at a time.