Not my will, but your's be done.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Sweet Surrender

I have been trying to post for about 4 days now. I finally have been able to get a bit of extra time and motivation to conincide with each other, so I started a post. I typed, and typed, and typed...and typed some more. After all that typing I still hadn't said all that I wanted to say! The post was long winded and just plain boring. I know that if I get bored reading my own writing about my own life, that other folks just might die of boredom. So, I scrapped it and I'm starting over. It may take several posts to let you in on all that God's been doing in our family, but I'm bound and determined to do it! Not just for your sake,(because I know that all of you are just dying of curiosity to know what is going on in my super exciting life *wink*), but for my own sake also. Posting is theraputic for me, and it helps to get my thoughts down where I can read them. And as long-winded as I can be, writing it on paper isn't always a viable option. Now, to get to the point...

I posted here about fully surrendering my life to the Lord's will. I've learned, in the year and a half since that time, that surrender is a continual process. It started out with the desire and willingness to fully turn every aspect of my life over to the Lord, but what I thought was the completion of my surrender, was actually the beginning of a whole new journey. And what a glorious journey it has been, thus far! It turned out to be very ironic that the title of my blog is "Surrender". When I picked that title I had a very specific area of surrender in mind, that being our situation with Treyson. But that trial started a domino effect of yielding my entire life to the Lord's control. Not that there haven't been bumps in the road, and times when I found myself, once again, trying to be in the driver's seat of my life, but the process has been far more amazing than I had anticipated.

I keep a spritual journal, of sorts. As I said earlier, writing is theraputic for me, and though I don't write in it every day, I do make an effort to write down major issues I'm dealing with. I write down prayers and thoughts about difficult problem that no one can fix but the Lord. I know that the Lord should be the first place to turn with any problem or difficulty, but it is so easy to try to handle things on my own and only seek the Lord when I feel overwhelmed and that the situation is out of my control. Therefore, alot of my spiritual journaling is desperate pleas to God to intervene in some situation or another. I am in the process of learning how to give even the seemingly meanial things in my life over the Lord, but I tend to only journal when I am feeling really good, or really bad. Journaling has been a blessing to me because I have been able to look back and see how God worked in some very difficult circumstances that felt utterly hopeless at the time. I also can see how He has been able to bless my life beyond measure as I have learned to truly submit to him.

He has given us financial peace after years of extreme burden.

He has transformed my husband into a man with a consuming passion to follow God's will for his life with complete abandon.

He is turning me in to the submissive wife that I never thought I could be.

And He is leading our family down a path that we would not have chosen for ourself, but we are joyful, knowing that in the center of His will is where we find peace.

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