Hope

Thursday evening I was rocking my little girl to sleep. This is not our usual way of putting her to bed, but she hadn't been feeling well that day. When she laid her head on my shoulder and let me rock her I was more than willing. As she straddled me and sat on the bump that is her little brother or sister growing in my belly I felt very content. Then Tres got the hiccups and I couldn't keep from smiling. I was rocking my daughter to sleep while I felt my little one hiccup and wiggle. It was pure bliss while it lasted.

Later that evening I was on a website reading various stories of parents who have delt with situations similar to mine. These parents, like us, had had a child that was diagnosed with a fatal kidney defect and chose to carry their child to term. I cried as I read their stories, sympathizing with their pain. There was one story that had a profound effect on me. It was the story of a child with the exact diagnosis as Tres, bilateral renal agenesis. This is the medical terminology of the plain fact that our baby is absent of any kidneys whatsoever. They simply never formed. Anyway, back to the story. In a nutshell, they prayed for a miracle, and they got one. There child is now four years old and has two working kidneys. Praise God!

This story changed my persepective. All this time I have been thinking and saying that God can do anything and he is fully capable of healing our baby. But at the same time in every story that I had read of babies with the same diagnosis and similar diagnosises the child always dies. Reading a story like their's has sent me into even more fervent prayers than before. I know that God is good and has a huge purpose for Tres's life no matter how brief it may be. I am just begging and pleading with God that the purpose of our situation is that his miraculous healing powers be made evident in our lifes.