Not my will, but your's be done.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I thought I'd add one from Ray and I real quick.

First me...

Earlier this morning I was doing Bible with the kids. Ray would not be still. She's only two, so I don't expect too terribly much from her. The problem was that she wouldn't be quiet. She kept talking and interrupting. Finally I yelled,

"Sit down and be quiet during Bible!!"

No sooner than the words were out of my mouth I realized the irony. ooopps!

After Bible I was reading other books to the kids. One was a kids silly song turned in to a book. Half way through the book I couldn't help myself and just started singing the book to the kids instead of reading it. After about 3 seconds Ray looked up at me and said,

"Mama, Mama! NOOOO! Ma, just read."

Not even my kids like my singing. Oh well. I guess I can't blame them. I don't even like it. When I sing with the radio or a cd I usually try to turn it up so loud that I can't hear myself.

And the day continues....

And it isn't even noon yet!

Here is Luke's quote of the day thus far.

We were getting out of the car at Basic Foods and Luke said,

"PawPaw and Grandma",(which are my grandparents) "can park in handicap spots."

"Yup, that's right.", I said.

"Can they park in regular spots too?", he asked.

"Yes. They can park in both kinds of parking spots.", I answered.

He responded,

"Wow! I sure wish that we were handicapped!"

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

CSUS (you have to read the post to find out what that means!)

For about a year I have been a member of CSUS, which stands for Christain Surfers U.S. (There! I let the cat out of the bag in the first sentence! Feel free to stop reading now if you would like.) One of the perks of my membership is that I get an email devotional every Monday. They always tie something into the devotional that has to do with surfing. I know that may not neccessarily sound spiritual, but who are you to judge...Um, what I meant to say is, honestly it really is spiritual. *wink, wink*

Anyway, I wanted to share a picture from last weeks devotional, and a quote from this weeks. They don't pertain to each other at all, but I liked them here you go.

Ewwww! Pretty scary, eh? I am terrified of sharks. It struck a chord deep in my heart to picture sin looking like that ferocious beast. I think that if we had a visual of the devouring nature of sin more similar to the one above, then we might be a little more cautions to not just steer clear of it, but to paddle, I mean run the opposite direction!

And for the quote of the week;

"We learn prayer's deepest depths in prayer, not from books. We reach prayer's highest heights in prayer, not from sermons. The only place to learn prayer, is in prayer, bent and broken on our knees."
-Dick Eastman

I like this quote because I have learned this one from experience. I have honestly read or heard some awesome books, articles, sermons, and Bible studies on prayer. They have all been beneficial to teaching me more about the power of prayer and also in encouraging and inspiring me to pray more. But nothing compares to what God has taught me during the actual act of prayer. It has been during times of prayer that the Holy Spirit has been able to comfort, direct, and speak to me most clearly.

The challenge of the week to the members of CSUS was to spend 5 extra minutes in prayer a day this week. So I am challenging you to the same. I couldn't hurt. And only God knows what 5 extra minutes can do in your heart. Let's give it a try this week!

Monday, March 23, 2009

The names have been changed to protect the, ugh, innocent? Alternately titled, A Long Post So Hang In There

Today started out fine. Well, as fine as a co-op morning can start anyway. Monday mornings I am usually rushing to get the kids out the door and to co-op not just on time, but somewhat decent looking. We made it though. Not exactly on time, but before assembly and announcements were over. That's a success in my book. So, anyway, the day started out fine. Co-op went well. I had fun teaching my kindergarten P.E. class, and it reminded me of why I went to school to be a P.E. teacher(and incase you are wondering, yes, you can actually go to college to be a P.E. teacher. My major was kinesiology, which is the study of the movement of the body.)

After co-op I went to work at The Hope Center. Many of you know that I work as a counselor there on Monday afternoons. I mainly counsel clients who come for the free pregnancy testing that the Hope Center offers. If you aren't familier with what the Hope Center is, is pretty much exactly what Treyson's Purpose will be one day. It is a pro-life non-profit resource center for women with crisis pregnancies. I became connected with the Hope Center back in November with Meagan and I met with the assisstant director in an effort to get advice and information that would help us with Treyson's Purpose. In January I got a call from the lady that we had met with asking me if I would be interested in training to be a counselor there. She told me that it would benefit with Hope Center while providing with the knowledge and experience that I could use to further Treyson's Purpose. I seized the opportunity enthusiastically! What better way to get knowledge of how a pro-life non-profit agency runs, than to work at one?! Super excited doesn't describe how I felt. So I did the class part of the training in January, and went straight in to the counselors training the next week.

Over the next several weeks I gradually started doing more and more of the counseling on my own. Now I am fully on my own. Every Monday I look forward to going. Don't let the fact that I am so excited about it fool you in to thinking that it is simple. I have had some heart wrenching experience while working there. I have talked with women, and girls for that matter, that have some of the saddest stories I have ever heard personally. There are times that I feel so completely inadequate to help them at all. That is why I committed from my first week working there that I would spend my entire drive from my house to the Hope Center(about 20 min) in earnest prayer, praying that God would prepare the hearts of the clients I will see that day, and to prepare my heart to minister to them.

On my way there today I prayed that God would allow me to have a client to that was married, a Christian, and actually trying to get pregnant. That is the totally opposite of what we normally see, so I just prayed that God would send one my way for a little encouragement. It wears me down emotionally at times for the majority of my clients to be the women and girls that make up all those crazy statistics that I never thought were accurate until I was actually was faced with the women that make them. Underage post-abortive girls, 13 year olds with multiple life altering STD's, 20 years olds on their 4th pregnancy, women who have had 3 or more abortions, etc..... I have had more than one occassion where I have had to go in the restroom and pull myself together before I can walk in the room and tell a 16 year old that was forced by her parents to have an abortion after being raped at 13, that she is indeed pregnant again, and that by law I have to turn her boyfriend in to the state because she is a minor. Or there have been times that I have had to ask the other counselor that works at the same time as me to pray with me because my brain is mush after hearing a horriffic story and I feel unable to form words that could possibly provide comfort.

THAT is why I prayed for some nice, married, Christian to come my way that was just dying to be pregnant. That is what I prayed. And that is what I got. Times two. My first two clients were sweet married women that claimed to be Christians and had been trying for 1-2 years to get pregnant. I was thrilled to talk with them and run their tests. But I was heartbroken when I had to give them their results. Negative.

After the second client I was a bit discouraged. Ok, I was actually on the verge of tears. I was frustrated with how life seems to be unfair and how I had to be the bearer of heartbreakingly bad news. So client three comes along. And now we have a positive. Inspite of the fact that she wasn't married and beared the emotional scars of the post-abortive woman, I was happy for her. Her and her boyfriend have been trying to get pregnant for two years, and even though they aren't married, the lover-of-life in me genuinely congratulated them enthusiastically. Well, my enthusiasm was wiped away when the boyfriend of the newly pregnant girl began flirting with me. Yes, I did say flirting with me. Right in front of his pregnant girlfriend! At first I thought that maybe he was just giddy about the news and the giddiness was making him super friendly. But when they walked out the door after I scheduled their ultrasound, and the secretary exploded at his audacity, I knew it wasn't just my imagination. So much for being excited about client number three.

Just when I was seriously considering going in the restroom and crying for a minute, just to get in out, I get client number 4. I won't go in to details, mainly because my heart can't take it. But I will say that I am pretty sure that she will be having an abortion in the next week or so. That will make 3 abortions in two years for her. I am praying divine intervention in that situation.

This evening I am desperately trying to be at peace about client number 4. I not only prayed desperately before I went back in the room to give her the results of her pregnancy test, but I had the other counselor pray for the client and I as I talked with her. I have never felt so completely inadaquate in all my life. I literally felt like the life of that unborn child was in my hands and if I could just find the right words to say to the mother that I could save it. No right words came, aparently.

I know that my job is only to speak in the spirit and then let God do the work. But it is hard for me to not take the responsibily on myself to save that child when I am the one that is tangibly talking with her.

*Sigh. Big, big sigh*

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Blessed...and some chickens

This past weekend I had a chance to reflect on how blessed I am in many ways regarding my family. Last Monday we buried my great uncle, Jerry. His funeral was sad because he was so dearly loved, but it was also uplifting in many ways. At his funeral it was mentioned several times how close of a family we are and how much we love each other. My Uncle Jerry was my PawPaw's brother. I've always known how close that part of my family was, but I guess that I took it for granted since that is how it has been since I was born. When I heard the preacher talk about how it had been revealed to him several times how close and loving our family was it hit me that not all people have the gift of having the type of extended family that I do.

For the most part I am blessed in every aspect of my family. I completely adore my in-laws. I consider Josh's parents my other set of parents because I feel as though I could confide in them the same way I could my own parents. Likewise could be said for my grandparents. My mom's parents my only living grandparents. I am extremely close to them. This past week I have been reflecting on how much of a blessing it is too come from such a close family.

I guess what really made it all hit home was last Friday we went over to my Uncle Donald and Aunt Catherine's house to visit. They live right up the road from us(is "right up the road" a totally southern term? If it is then I appologize for the bad grammer. But honestly, they do live right up the road.) We went by to visit, and to get some goodies from my Uncle Donald's garden. After we left I started thinking about how not many people have a great-great uncle less than a mile from them that they can just ride over and get some carrots and broccli from their garden. Then again, not many people even have a great-great uncle.

Then even later when I was smiling thinking about Luke and Ray pulling carrots, picking kumquats, and running around the yard playing and petting their dog, it hit me. Not many people have a great-great-GREAT uncle that they can go over to their house(walk if we wanted to)and do that. All I can say is that we are blessed.

Here is a picture of Luke with some of the carrots. Tonight we ate some of the broccoli out of his garden. It was so incredible good that it inspired me to add broccoli to my little garden. We eat a ton of broccoli at our house, but it had never occurred to me to grow it in my garden. Broccoli wasn't one of the vegatables that we ever grew in the gardens that we had at our house growing up, so I guess in the back of my mind I felt a little clueless as to how to grow it. But, I will be planting some ASAP!

Here is a picture of the seeds I have sprouted so far.

Most of them are flowers(Luke helped with the flowers), but there are some tomatoes and cayenne peppers in there too. All are doing well. I was honestly shocked that they sprouted at all. I have never had much luck starting with seeds so the morning that I noticed that mine had actually sprouted I started jumping around. I even did a little dance. Now that I have my green thumb I'll be heading full speed ahead with the rest of my little seeds.
Aside from gardening, I also have a new little venture. Here's a little peek at what I've been having fun with the past week.

Yup, it baby chickens. Also, know as chicks, for us chicken farmers(wink, wink). The above picture is what 46 chicks look like. Pretty cute, eh? For those of you that live in the area, you are welcome to bring your kids by to see them any time. Come soon though because they feather out fast. We also have three ducklings. Besides your own newborn baby there isn't anything cuter than a duckling. The chicks are pretty darn cute too though.

Now isn't she a cutie?! I adore my chicks. In about four months time they will be laying eggs and I will be selling them(the eggs, not the chickens). So any of you that are interested in fresh yard eggs just let me know.
The chicks have me in a super excited mood, so I would love to just go on, and on, and on. But Josh drew my bath water and if I don't hop in now it will get cold!