I'm pretty sure he is explaining quantum physics,
or has the solution to world peace.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Kellen and Kids Praying
Josh is working nights this weekend. When he works nights on the weekend I usually entertain myself with my many children. Last night was Friday, and every Friday night(unless we have other plans) we watch a movie as a family and eat popcorn. Last night we watched "Duma", which is a pretty good movie about a cheetah. The kids all love animal movies, so this one was undoubtably a hit. During the movie Kellen was being hil.ar.i.ous. Of course he toned it down as soon as I got out the video camera, but I thought I'd post this little video anyway.
( Note, the other children who are not quite as amused with him as I am, since I paused the movie to video him.)
This second video is from later that night when we gathered in the girl's room to pray. Luke prayed first and when he prayed for Josslyn's leg, Joss immediately joined in the prayer and prayed at length(I'm assuming she was also praying for her leg??). After Luke prayed, Ray prayed. Josslyn prayed all through Ray's prayer and continued after Ray was done. No sooner had she finished than she remember another requests and started praying again. It was so precious. I finally decided that I needed to document it for Josh to see, so I went and got the video camera. When I came back in the room with the camera she was praying again. After I videoed her praying, Luke and Ray wanted to re-pray for Daddy to see too.
(Note, Luke prays that Daddy will bring doughnuts home in the morning for breakfast.)
Have a good rest of the weekend! For those of you with kiddos, I hope you are enjoying yours as much as I'm enjoying mine!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
My Gimpy Princess
Here are a few pictures of Josslyn from the past couple of days.
THIS is when Josslyn started to perk up.
Notice how she is holding Ray's hand with one hand and clinging to her arm with the other hand.
Yes, Josslyn does haver writing on her leg. While she was sleeping on the couch, Kellen so kindly drew on her with a dry erase marker. Someone forgot to inform him that it was the OTHER leg he was supposed to sign. Regardless, Josslyn was NOT happy about that. He also drew on the couch in the recliner. I was not happy about that.
Watching TV with Luke and Ray
Eatin'
In a hip carrier
Now that she is feeling better she wants to be up and all over the place. She generally sticks pretty close to me through out the day, so now is no different. For the most part she wants to be where ever I am. Since I am all over the place alot of the day, I have been wearing her from time to time throughout the day. The baby wearer in me has been loving it, and Josslyn thinks she is in heaven. Works for both of us.
Sitting outside watching everyone play.
Being silly.
After getting her hair washed and a spit bath(that's what we called it growing up...)
Looking at books
She joined in on play time today
She thought her cast made a perfect train track
See Alik doting on her??
Etch-a-sketch!
I'm sure you noticed the many positions I have been putting Josslyn in. I keep thinking how sore and bored I would be if I had to lay on my back all the time, so I have been trying to provide her some variety. She is doing excellent. Her pain is minimal. I'm quite amazed at how well she is doing. Resilient.
Oh, one of you asked if Josslyn was in a spica cast. After seeing the pictures, I'm sure you can see that her cast is a spica cast. For those of you who had/have no idea what a spica cast is....well, that is what her kind of cast is called. It covers one whole leg, wraps around her wasit, and goes down half her other leg. Doesn't leave room for much mobility. It would drive me absolutely crazy if I was the one having to wear it. For those of you who are familiar with spica casts, I have a question. She is supposed to have her cast for 6 weeks. She goes back to the dr in 3 weeks. At that appointment will she get a new cast? And if she does get a new cast is it possible that it will be less of a cast than it is now? Just curious. Joss was still asleep from the anesthesa when I talked to the doctor, so I just listened to what he said and didn't really ask many questions.
Soon to come are two Q and A posts. I was actually working on them less than10 minutes before Joss hurt her leg.
Good night, ya'll!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Recovering
Well I thought I was emotionally prepared to write this blog post. Now that I actually sat down to do it, I feel my throat getting tight and my pulse start to beat faster.
The past several days have been tough ones here at the Carlin house. Sunday evening Josslyn broke her leg. We still aren't,(and may never be), exactly sure what happened. We know that she fell in her room and was by herself when it happened, but beyond that the details are kind of sketchy. Keep in mind, the details are coming from a very traumatized 3 year old that hasn't fully mastered the language and has definite speech issues. Honestly, though, I'm not even sure if she knows exactly what happened. We have given up questioning her because we just get the same answers and we hate to keep bringing up a sore subject. Litterally.
I heard her fall and start crying. Our house is on piers, so everything is loud. When the kids play it sounds like a herd of elephants playing rugy. Seriously. So when I heard a THUD that was quickly followed by a "WAAAAAAAA!", I didn't neccessarily think that it was something serious. Especially since I hear thuds followed by Josslyn crying many times a day. Coordination and focus are not her strong suits, and that combination can be the cause of many boo boos for her throughout each and every day. Even when she isn't falling/running into things and hurting herself, she is falling/running into things(or people) and not hurting herself. 90% of the "thuds" that I hear in our house are followed by either Josslyn crying, or Josslyn yelling, "UH-OH!!" We joke that her middle name should have been Uh-Oh, instead of Alina. When one of us hears her yell, "Uh-Oh!!" across the house, we giggle and say, "Josslyn Uh-Oh Carlin".
This particular "THUD", on this particular day, was a doozie. I could tell that her cry was a real cry, but my mama instincts still weren't alerting me that an injury out of the norm had just taken place. I trotted in her room and saw her laying on the floor. The way she was laying it looked like she had hit her head on the floor(which she had), so I thought that was why she was crying. I picked her up under her arms and tried to stand her up. When she tried to stand up she immediately let out a scream that I had never heard from her before and pulled her right leg up. At this point I KNEW something was bad wrong. I don't think I have ever heard any of my kids cry that kind of cry before. And hopefully I never will again. I picked her up like a baby and she just kept screaming. Josh was in the kitchen and came quickly. He took one look at her leg and said that he thought it was broken. My brain turned into fuzz. I tend to be pretty good under this sort of pressure, or atleast I had thought so up until this point. But I guess I had never been under that sort of pressure. We have never had a child have to have stitches. No gushing bleeders. No concusions. And up until now, no broken bones.
My fuzzy brain, that was starting to get tunnel vision, kept thinking, "Surely her leg isn't broken! How in the world could she have broken her leg?!" But after about 60 seconds of Josslyn's screaming, it didn't matter what the problem was I wanted to get her to the emergency room and get her something for pain. Josh quickly loaded all the kids up in the van and drove Josslyn and I to the ER. The next 24 hours were some of the longest of my life. For my own sake, I'll sum it up without alot of details.
Josslyn broke her right femur(thigh bone). She had to be transported by ambulance to Texas Children's Hospital. At the first hospital(the local one), we were told that she was most likely going to have to have to get pins or screws surgically and to prepare to be in the hospital for a week. Thankfully, TCH is the best. They have excellent doctors who were able to set and cast her leg with out having to use pins. Since there were no pins, we were able to go home on Monday afternoon.
There are alot of grizzly details that I'm leaving out, mainly because I don't want to think about them long enough to write about it. I'll just say that the whole thing was extremely traumatizing to Josslyn, and as a mother it is one of the worst things I've had to endure. I don't think I have ever seen anyone in as much pain as she was in. It would have been awful to witness a grown man who was a complete stranger in that much pain. For it to be your daughter is almost unbearable. They were giving her as much morphine as they safely could, without slowing down her respiration too much, and she was still in a great deal of pain. I would sale everything I own and live in a box on the street, if it meant never having to see one of my children go through something like that again.
When we got home Monday evening I was still running on adrenaline. I hadn't slept at all the night before. Josslyn's leg, even though it wasn't technically a surgery, had to be set and casted in an operating room. Because of the type of break, and the type of cast it would require, she had to be put fully to sleep and intubated. Another mommy first for me. Even though I understood and fully agreed this was best for her, I was still very nervous about her being put fully to sleep. She did excellent though. That girl is one of the toughest people I know.
Monday when we got home Josslyn was completely exhausted. She slept much of the evening and then, much to my surprise, she slept all night, without even needing pain medicine. I wanted to be near her, and since I had no clue what kind of night she was going to have, we thought the best arrangement was her on the couch and me on the reclincer beside her. She completely shocked me by sleeping like a rock. Barely letting out a whimper now and then, just to make sure I was nearby. Tuesday morning she was still pretty melancholy, as expected for what she had been through. My adrenaline was wearing off and I felt like a big pile of cow manure. If I didn't have 5 other kids that needed a mother, not cow manure, I would have curled up on the couch and stared at the wall for goodness knows how long. My emotions were a wreck. Thank the Lord for kiddos that need a "sane" mom, so that left curling up in the fetal position and dying not an option.
Tuesday afternoon, after a good nap and some quite time watching tv, Josslyn finally started coming out of her shell. It was Ray that did it. She crawled up on my bed beside Josslyn and held her hand. Josslyn slowly went from quiet, to chatty, to downright giggly. Sisters can be angels. Sometimes they know exactly what you need. Apparently, Josslyn just needed her sister. By last night she was her normal self. Once the old Joss was back I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I can now get back to being my normal self(whatever that was), I am just a slightly more aged. I am sure that the fine lines under my eyes have deepened and the gray hair on my head has multiplied. But I don't care. I have my daughter back. Recovering.
The past several days have been tough ones here at the Carlin house. Sunday evening Josslyn broke her leg. We still aren't,(and may never be), exactly sure what happened. We know that she fell in her room and was by herself when it happened, but beyond that the details are kind of sketchy. Keep in mind, the details are coming from a very traumatized 3 year old that hasn't fully mastered the language and has definite speech issues. Honestly, though, I'm not even sure if she knows exactly what happened. We have given up questioning her because we just get the same answers and we hate to keep bringing up a sore subject. Litterally.
I heard her fall and start crying. Our house is on piers, so everything is loud. When the kids play it sounds like a herd of elephants playing rugy. Seriously. So when I heard a THUD that was quickly followed by a "WAAAAAAAA!", I didn't neccessarily think that it was something serious. Especially since I hear thuds followed by Josslyn crying many times a day. Coordination and focus are not her strong suits, and that combination can be the cause of many boo boos for her throughout each and every day. Even when she isn't falling/running into things and hurting herself, she is falling/running into things(or people) and not hurting herself. 90% of the "thuds" that I hear in our house are followed by either Josslyn crying, or Josslyn yelling, "UH-OH!!" We joke that her middle name should have been Uh-Oh, instead of Alina. When one of us hears her yell, "Uh-Oh!!" across the house, we giggle and say, "Josslyn Uh-Oh Carlin".
This particular "THUD", on this particular day, was a doozie. I could tell that her cry was a real cry, but my mama instincts still weren't alerting me that an injury out of the norm had just taken place. I trotted in her room and saw her laying on the floor. The way she was laying it looked like she had hit her head on the floor(which she had), so I thought that was why she was crying. I picked her up under her arms and tried to stand her up. When she tried to stand up she immediately let out a scream that I had never heard from her before and pulled her right leg up. At this point I KNEW something was bad wrong. I don't think I have ever heard any of my kids cry that kind of cry before. And hopefully I never will again. I picked her up like a baby and she just kept screaming. Josh was in the kitchen and came quickly. He took one look at her leg and said that he thought it was broken. My brain turned into fuzz. I tend to be pretty good under this sort of pressure, or atleast I had thought so up until this point. But I guess I had never been under that sort of pressure. We have never had a child have to have stitches. No gushing bleeders. No concusions. And up until now, no broken bones.
My fuzzy brain, that was starting to get tunnel vision, kept thinking, "Surely her leg isn't broken! How in the world could she have broken her leg?!" But after about 60 seconds of Josslyn's screaming, it didn't matter what the problem was I wanted to get her to the emergency room and get her something for pain. Josh quickly loaded all the kids up in the van and drove Josslyn and I to the ER. The next 24 hours were some of the longest of my life. For my own sake, I'll sum it up without alot of details.
Josslyn broke her right femur(thigh bone). She had to be transported by ambulance to Texas Children's Hospital. At the first hospital(the local one), we were told that she was most likely going to have to have to get pins or screws surgically and to prepare to be in the hospital for a week. Thankfully, TCH is the best. They have excellent doctors who were able to set and cast her leg with out having to use pins. Since there were no pins, we were able to go home on Monday afternoon.
There are alot of grizzly details that I'm leaving out, mainly because I don't want to think about them long enough to write about it. I'll just say that the whole thing was extremely traumatizing to Josslyn, and as a mother it is one of the worst things I've had to endure. I don't think I have ever seen anyone in as much pain as she was in. It would have been awful to witness a grown man who was a complete stranger in that much pain. For it to be your daughter is almost unbearable. They were giving her as much morphine as they safely could, without slowing down her respiration too much, and she was still in a great deal of pain. I would sale everything I own and live in a box on the street, if it meant never having to see one of my children go through something like that again.
When we got home Monday evening I was still running on adrenaline. I hadn't slept at all the night before. Josslyn's leg, even though it wasn't technically a surgery, had to be set and casted in an operating room. Because of the type of break, and the type of cast it would require, she had to be put fully to sleep and intubated. Another mommy first for me. Even though I understood and fully agreed this was best for her, I was still very nervous about her being put fully to sleep. She did excellent though. That girl is one of the toughest people I know.
Monday when we got home Josslyn was completely exhausted. She slept much of the evening and then, much to my surprise, she slept all night, without even needing pain medicine. I wanted to be near her, and since I had no clue what kind of night she was going to have, we thought the best arrangement was her on the couch and me on the reclincer beside her. She completely shocked me by sleeping like a rock. Barely letting out a whimper now and then, just to make sure I was nearby. Tuesday morning she was still pretty melancholy, as expected for what she had been through. My adrenaline was wearing off and I felt like a big pile of cow manure. If I didn't have 5 other kids that needed a mother, not cow manure, I would have curled up on the couch and stared at the wall for goodness knows how long. My emotions were a wreck. Thank the Lord for kiddos that need a "sane" mom, so that left curling up in the fetal position and dying not an option.
Tuesday afternoon, after a good nap and some quite time watching tv, Josslyn finally started coming out of her shell. It was Ray that did it. She crawled up on my bed beside Josslyn and held her hand. Josslyn slowly went from quiet, to chatty, to downright giggly. Sisters can be angels. Sometimes they know exactly what you need. Apparently, Josslyn just needed her sister. By last night she was her normal self. Once the old Joss was back I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I can now get back to being my normal self(whatever that was), I am just a slightly more aged. I am sure that the fine lines under my eyes have deepened and the gray hair on my head has multiplied. But I don't care. I have my daughter back. Recovering.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Breakthrough
We have recently had a breakthrough with Alik that I think signals that he is reaching a more comfortable and trusting place in his relationship with us. If you have been following my blog a while you will remember that our relationship with Alik got off to a rocky start. I wrote about it some in my blog, but I hope to write about the depth of that rocky beginning at some point. For now, you will just have to take my word for it that it was rough. Alik and I did not really begin to form much of a positive relationship until right before I busted him out of the orphanage for good. Our relationship really started to grow starting the day I got him out of the orphanage forever. Gotcha Day.
A few hours in to his first day of freedom was the first time Alik ever gave me a spontaneous hug of his own free will. It was at that moment that I knew everything was going to be ok and in time Alik would bond with, trust, and even grow to love me and the rest of his new family. I had no idea how quickly that bonding and love part would start. The moment we arrived home for the very first time Alik started to truly amaze me. Of all three of my newly adopted children I thought that he was going to be the toughest egg to crack. He did excellent though! So much better than I could have ever hoped or dreamed. He immediately bonded with Ray. Bonds with other family members were soon to follow. His english progressed at a more rapid pace than I would have guess possible.
Now, Alik speaks almost all english. His grammer is on about a 2.5 year old level("Me like that!", etc.), he is learning so quickly. Once he gained enough knowledge that we could talk with him in more detail, we started asking him, out of pure curiosity, what various things were called in Russian. At first, he just played dumb. He would look at my blankly like he didn't understand what I was saying. I thought that he did, but I just let it go. Several days later I asked him what something else was. Again, blank stare. I had a feeling that he understood me though, so I asked again.
He looked at me flatly and said, "I don't know."
So I asked him, "You don't know, or you don't want to tell me?"
He just shrugged his shoulders. I have been worried about the kids losing their language. I've heard that it can happen very quickly, so I wondered if maybe that was the case and just left it at that.
Several days later the scene repeated itself. This time I asked him something that I knew he should be able to remember. "I don't know" was the only response I was getting from him. So I asked if he didn't remember. He nodded and said that he didn't remember. So, once again, I just left it at that.
About 2 weeks ago he was looking at a book. It was a Curious George book about season. Alik just loves anything to do with monkeys, especially Curious George. In the book there was a rainbow and he asked me what it was called. I told him it was a rainbow, and he repeated it in his near perfect southern drawl english. I thought I'd give it one last shot so I asked him what it was called when he was at his groupa in Ukraine. He just stared at me. I figured that either he didn't know, or just wasn't going to tell me. So I went about my business, figuring that he was never going to tell me anything in Russian that I didn't already know.
That's when I heard him mutter something. I looked over at him and he was looking at me tenatively.
"What?", I said.
"Raduga", he said quietly.
"Raduga?"
"Yeah, Raduga", he said pointing to the rainbow.
"Raduga is rainbow?" , I pratically yelled in my excitement!
"Yep."
And that is where it started with him sharing things from his old life. Over the last few weeks he has told us what kinds of foods he ate, what kind of games he played, and other various things about his life in Ukraine. I now realize that it took time for him to feel safe enough to share that part of his life with us. Every few days he will randomly come up and share something from his past life. A candy he ate at groupa and what it is called was his fun fact for today. Whenever he shares something new he is all smiles. Today I was sitting back just marveling at how far he has come.
Alik is definitely a raduga in my life.
A few hours in to his first day of freedom was the first time Alik ever gave me a spontaneous hug of his own free will. It was at that moment that I knew everything was going to be ok and in time Alik would bond with, trust, and even grow to love me and the rest of his new family. I had no idea how quickly that bonding and love part would start. The moment we arrived home for the very first time Alik started to truly amaze me. Of all three of my newly adopted children I thought that he was going to be the toughest egg to crack. He did excellent though! So much better than I could have ever hoped or dreamed. He immediately bonded with Ray. Bonds with other family members were soon to follow. His english progressed at a more rapid pace than I would have guess possible.
Now, Alik speaks almost all english. His grammer is on about a 2.5 year old level("Me like that!", etc.), he is learning so quickly. Once he gained enough knowledge that we could talk with him in more detail, we started asking him, out of pure curiosity, what various things were called in Russian. At first, he just played dumb. He would look at my blankly like he didn't understand what I was saying. I thought that he did, but I just let it go. Several days later I asked him what something else was. Again, blank stare. I had a feeling that he understood me though, so I asked again.
He looked at me flatly and said, "I don't know."
So I asked him, "You don't know, or you don't want to tell me?"
He just shrugged his shoulders. I have been worried about the kids losing their language. I've heard that it can happen very quickly, so I wondered if maybe that was the case and just left it at that.
Several days later the scene repeated itself. This time I asked him something that I knew he should be able to remember. "I don't know" was the only response I was getting from him. So I asked if he didn't remember. He nodded and said that he didn't remember. So, once again, I just left it at that.
About 2 weeks ago he was looking at a book. It was a Curious George book about season. Alik just loves anything to do with monkeys, especially Curious George. In the book there was a rainbow and he asked me what it was called. I told him it was a rainbow, and he repeated it in his near perfect southern drawl english. I thought I'd give it one last shot so I asked him what it was called when he was at his groupa in Ukraine. He just stared at me. I figured that either he didn't know, or just wasn't going to tell me. So I went about my business, figuring that he was never going to tell me anything in Russian that I didn't already know.
That's when I heard him mutter something. I looked over at him and he was looking at me tenatively.
"What?", I said.
"Raduga", he said quietly.
"Raduga?"
"Yeah, Raduga", he said pointing to the rainbow.
"Raduga is rainbow?" , I pratically yelled in my excitement!
"Yep."
And that is where it started with him sharing things from his old life. Over the last few weeks he has told us what kinds of foods he ate, what kind of games he played, and other various things about his life in Ukraine. I now realize that it took time for him to feel safe enough to share that part of his life with us. Every few days he will randomly come up and share something from his past life. A candy he ate at groupa and what it is called was his fun fact for today. Whenever he shares something new he is all smiles. Today I was sitting back just marveling at how far he has come.
Alik is definitely a raduga in my life.
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